Well its almost that time again, coming up to almost a year since ive actually started leaving journals on here...to have it all go by so fast as if i put a movie in fastforward but taking note at those important, good, bad, and undiscribeable parts of this past year. sure im writing this like 2-3 weeks before i should be but ive got nothing to do atm and who knows i might not be in the greatest shape to do this on new years or the day after.

so this isnt just about the holidays either like always ill have a little update of the current situations in my life...idk if all of u liek this but i dont care lol , its going here any way.and at the end of this journal same like the others ill try to close it with some sort or poem/thingy that basicly sums up wut im feeling and a bit of info of wut has happend for those who dont like to read.

Hmmm lets see where to start off...i gusse with plans for the next couple of weeks! So chirstmas is coming oh so very fast its only like 8-9 days away and i cant help but feel like how i did last year, which is not that excited because as the years r gonig on i find my self alot less egar for some things like christmas cause i know wuts coming wiether its prezents, event, and people.
Basicly wut im saying is that i would like a new type of christmas or have something new to day. not the holiday itself but me, i would liek to do something different next christmas maybe go somewhere outside of canada or something and experience it there for a change.

But before we get to wut exactly im doing on christmas lets get to abotu a week before it shall we.Ok so on tuesday a bunch of us r going to the movies! woot! movie!!!!!!...ahem...and we r going to go see "A Christmas Carol" it left our movie theater for a while before i could ask a certain someone to go which was depressing, but now its back and without even relizing it i asked her out to this movie (smooth eh?)and she said yes and now its a group event! dont get me wrong nothing bad from a group thing its fun either way, but i was kinda hoping for a solo thingy to happen but its ok this will be fun! i also have her gift ready (i hope she likes it)i got her a giant stuffed dog teddy bear thing, its really soft almost dont want to give it lol. but after i bought it the day after she texts me to come to -Disclosed location- to see wut some one gave her. it ended up being a giant stuffed cow thingy so its similar to my gift and now it might seem like i took the idea of a giant stuffy which sucks...lol. but ohwell that isnt all thats instore for her, accompaning the teddy bear will be a 30$ itunes card and a naruto poster magazine thingy (one of her fav animes). i will be giving her this gift to her tuesdat in front of all teh people that are coming. i think most of them will get the idea of wuts going on, and she will probly noticed by then if not early that yeah this guy might have a crush on me or something of that length.

Now on to wut im doing for the holidays more specificly christmas. so far idk wut im donig for christmas i know im having a huge family super christmas day, and a huge family/friend party on christmas eve but other than that not much eles is in store for me....

New years? thre are a couple ideas for new years and some of them are hey lets go to berrie! or hey lets go to northbay! my idea was a party at my house, but other ppl want to do other things which is ok cause then that means i have no mess to clean up after a new year lmao. but the only problem is that we havnet decided on wut we are actually doing for new years and if we go with any ideas on gonig out of town, we have kinda no way to go there. liek i can drive but i dont have the vehicle right now...and we have a friend but that limits 5 out of liek 14 of us to gonigto the location. and last but not least is the bus which no one likes to take cause well its filled with strangers sleeping and other stuff. so ideas for new years r still in the works.

wut topic to hit next...oh new years revolution! this should of been in the above blurb btu im lazy to move it..lmao. so last years revolution was to get a girl friend, lame right? but it would of been my first girl friend...i know wut ppl r thinking u havent had ur first girlfriend yet since before 2008?! and im saying yes, and who cares! unlike other people im in it for the long haul, well aslong as i can go...unlike u know some girl jsut lies about it all and blah blah blah thats old news, so that resolution was fulfiled, not many ppl can say that they actually did there resolution. hmm i think mine for this year or the next couple weeks will be the find a girlfriend that u know is mature and doesnt feel obligated to lie casue she is to afriad of telling hte truth and wut might have happend if she did....srry more old past stuff.....(random rant: i still cant belive that she felt like she needed to lie to me...like thats hte only thing that has made me like 100% full blown hate any one this year! well i wouldnt say hate but there isnt anything strong but still like suddle about the way i feel about her now. i cant trust her no more, its all gone. ill talk to her and i can stand to be near her but otherwise we dont talk to each otehr much which is good it would probly be more bull shit anyway....) And im back . so yeah that was longer than i thoguht next topic...lol.

So im going to talk about my relation ship status atm, even tho ive already talked a bit a bout it but this will be the full blown version lol. so yes this girl is still the same girl from the last journal. atm idk wut we have id like to think that we have something special but for somereason i dont quiet feel the same as i did with my ex...idk wut to make of it its weird my brain and half my heart say that yes she is one of hte most AWSOMEST things on this planet..but the other half is like no do u really want this to happen, remember wut happen last time u left me in the hands of a woman? so its kinda sketch wut this is or wut it will become. but for the moment i will continue on with wut ever we have in hopes that when/if i ask her to go out that it will end in high spirits. i just wish i could read minds or something along hte lines to know wut she is feeling to give me a abetter idea on how to approach this or to even approach this at all. i have a grave deep feeling that this isnt going to work, that she will say no and that it might ruin our friendship...speaknig of which is the thing i think about most in a relation ship before i go into anything....

hmm i think that this is all im kidna getting distracted by DBZ AMVs lol they r pretty awsome sauce.

"Some times in life you are unsure of what may or may not happen but the only way to find out is not by avoiding but by trying it head on you wont find out if you jsut wait to see if it lands in your lap. Try not to think to far ahead because then it makes you think that wut ur wanting is unachievable and you will start to think its a waste of time and that it will end in hurt."

meh not one of my best things but like i said AMVs lol this is all for now u guys will ahve to wait till new years to get mroe out of me

oh! and to all of those who personally know me i ask as i do on every journal please dont talk to me at school/any where about anything said on here unless its on DA or by text message and anyone who disobeys this simple request of privacy will go down in my books as untrustworthy and will be ignored till no exstant.